Pati Patni aur Gas Cylinder!

“So what does the groom do”?

 “Oh he is an MBA. That’s good but then does he have a Gas Connection”?

 In South India if a bride is gauged by the length of her hair and fairness, the groom is weighed by his salary and Gas connection. And in the wake of frightening scarcity of gas cylinders around, there’s little to sympathize with the grooms of this country. 

It’s a ritual in our community to kick start the wedding invitation process with the in-laws. The first invitation is handed over to the bride’s family invoking their auspicious presence and blessing. It's not an elaborate affair though. This is also the time when the father- in- law comes in for an intimate chat with the groom asking his secret wish to be fulfilled. 

Statistics point that erstwhile grooms have made it a point to look no less than the best South Indian heroes on this special occasion to impress their in-laws. 

Who am I to beat history? 

As expected the invitation card was handed over by my father to his peer and the entire gathering broke into a revelry mode, except two individuals.

My mother and mother in law!

My mother and my mother- in- law were in trance and shed tears and holding each other’s palms as though signing a partnership agreement. No one knew why they were doing so, or for that matter the need for such an emotional drama in a happy occasion like that. I didn’t bother to think what could have been in their minds, since I had better things to focus on.

A sumptuous spread welcomed us in full glory followed by some candid photo session steered by cousins. In between I exchanged fleeting glances and some on air romance with my bride.

How far is your office from home?

My father in law popped in with this question blocking our stealthy glances

15 Kilometers, I replied

What?

 15 kilometers seemed a not so happy answer to him. He shifted his glance to the ceiling and stared there for next 30 seconds. I wondered whether he was envisioning his daughter running 15 kilometers with a lunch box in wedding attire on a scorching afternoon for her husband. 

How do you travel? 

Bike, I promptly replied. 

All of a sudden I had feeling whether he was planning to buy me a car or some kind of transportation. I have heard father- in- laws doing such appraisal talks before wedding. I couldn’t help crossing my fingers. 

Do you have a Gas Connection?

What?

Let me tell you that life is all about surprises. Most of them unfortunately weird and unsolicited. 

The next twenty some minutes were dedicated to understanding the significance of having a gas connection and trust worthy gas agent in a fruitful married life. “Gas cylinders are directly proportional to every married man’s peace of mind. The fuller it is the higher remains the domestic harmony level. The moment it runs out empty, you will see the man of the house running devastated”

So my son, make sure you have your cylinders in place. Manassilayo? Blurted my father in law.

That was a quite a piece of talk. Full of Gas.

On my way back I was reminded of a very important lesson, the one I had left behind in 6^th Standard.

Life is all about matters. Solid liquid and Gas. Never underestimate or ignore any of them.

At least if you want to be happily married.